and even the words don’t leave, please stay were impossible for me, and you, my ever-distant star, continued to circle out of reach
(via shuoniaiwo)
as if by magic
fandoms: sherlock, doctor who, harry potter, the avengers, the hunger games etc.side-blogs: generation9 (snsd) | exo-spheric (exo, kpop)
other useful tags: quotes and my writing
one day you reached for the door knob
and reached through it instead. i smiled,
even as you turned towards me, despairing,
as if nothing was wrong, as if you were not
disappearing, little by little. faster and faster,
bits and pieces of you were being stolen away,
and soon - soon, i am going to wake up and
have no one to kiss good morning. at night,
i lie awake, tracing the outline of your silhouette
with a careful finger, listening
to your even breathing,
to the comforting, precious evidence of
your presence.
don’t doubt yourself. don’t do it. don’t you dare. push the thoughts of not good enough never good enough away. just look at how far you have already come.
i will not write about you. i will not write about you the way i write about other things, other people. i will not write about what i think about you, about how i feel about you, about anything about you. i will not write anything or draw anything or leave any record any trace, so there will be no evidence to show, and no one will know.
And if not you, then who? Who will be able to finish the sentences that I have not even begun? Who will be able to set me on fire with a single touch? Who will be able to hold my heart? If it isn’t you, I won’t have anyone else.
I want to write you into my life,
command your presence with
prose and poetry.
If I string the words together carefully,
if I put all of my heart into it,
can I demand, not just
your presence, but also,
your love?
say the words -
don’t hesitate and don’t
think twice. just say
the words, and
i will say
yes.
I don’t want perfection. I want to know that, like me, you have fears and insecurites and weaknesses. I want to learn every single one of them and know that you are real. I don’t want a hero, I want you.
People want so many things. Perhaps we are greedy by nature. Forever hungry for something. Insatiable.
I promise to never ask too much of you. I promise not to demand too many things. I promise that I will never take without giving. All I want from you is your presence. The comforting and miraculous warmth of your sheer existence. Be here.
Be mine.
